I Am The Quinnibal
by aquarius127
Summary: Rachel is with Quinn but Finn seems to not understand that. Quinn decides to tell him to back off through song or else face the consequences. One-shot. Slightly crackish. Enjoy!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its characters. They're owned by Fox. Nor do I own Cannibal by Ke$ha. **

**Summary: Established Faberry. A/U Senior Year. Quinn still has pink hair and smokes, but never joined the skanks. Finn and Rachel never got back together in New York. Rachel and she have been dating since the summer. Enjoy!**

* * *

Quinn growled at the sight of Finn Hudson towering over Rachel's locker. His hand was by her head, affectively locking the petite brunette in place, without any hope of escaping. Quinn quietly approached the duo, before Finn could take off. Neither noticed her presence.

Ever since the beginning of the year, the quarterback stayed far away from Quinn as possible. She didn't know if it had to do with the fact, that she had a new attitude and appearance which apparently frightened most of the school more now than when she was head cheerio. Or possibly because one day after school; she cornered him and threatened to remove his manhood and use it as her personal ash tray; if he were to try and come in between her and Rachel. He stayed far away after that for a time, but lately was becoming more and more of an annoyance in both of hers and Rachel's lives, by constantly serenading her in glee club or giving her chocolates completely disregarding the fact that she was a vegan. The point is it's starting to get tiring.

Quinn was confident about their relationship, they both were driven to achieve greater things, and wanted to reach them together. Neither Quinn nor Rachel believed that this was just another high school romance, but for the long run. All they had to do now was get Finn out of the picture.

The pink haired girl was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Finn's whining. He was obviously dumber than he looked, which was a feat in itself as he was trying to get Rachel to break up with her, so that the two of them could date again. Finn's idiocy was astounding as he basically insulted everything Rachel loved and was important to her.

"But why Rach? I don't understand why you want to be with Quinn, when you can have me! She's just using you until she gets what she wants. That's basic Quinn, use people then leave them heartbroken. You're no different! Also, your couple name sounds dumb; where Finchel is a cool couple name, because well I'm in it, so what more do you need. We were awesome together; you always helped me with my homework and made me that awesome banana bread for me. While I helped you not be a boardwalk obsessed diva, because you were too busy obsessing over me instead! Plus, Rach you can't be gay. You already have two gay dads, so isn't there some rule saying that you can't be gay too? So yeah, what do you say? Wanna be my girl again?" he finished with a goofy grin that he thought was charming but instead looked like he had to poop.

Quinn didn't know such a shade of red existed, with every word that coming out of Finn's mouth it continued to become brighter. It was putting her hair to shame. The girl chuckled and smirked as she saw Rachel take a deep breath about to go off in a tangent. The oaf was in for it big time.

"You have some audacity Finn Hudson! You have insulted everything that is near and dear to me. You don't know a thing about me! First of all Finn, its _Broadway_ not boardwalk, you moron. Secondly, Faberry is an amazing couple name that I thought of myself. Faberry sounds gentle and sweet; while Finchel sounds like some weird bird or type of flu. Also, did you listen to yourself as you described our previous relationship? It's unhealthy and wasn't equal, in a relationship you're supposed to grow with that person and not put them down. I was your girlfriend Finn, but everything you just said made me sound like your mother. I took care of you, while you took me for granted and acted like a spoiled child! Third, I am in love with _Quinn_, not Finn Hudson, but Quinn Fabray. She showed me everything what a real relationship should be and what the foundations of it should be. My relationship with Quinn is everything that ours was not. It's healthy, strong, passionate, loving, equal, challenging, and most of all has trust. Something ours never really had."

"Finally, what you said about my fathers and me being gay is wrong on many different levels. What you said was so ignorant, cliché, and stereotypical; I don't even know where to start with that. Love is love and has nothing to do with how I was raised. I could have two straight parents, but it wouldn't change the fact that I love Quinn. So back the fuck off!" Rachel finished in a frustrated scream.

"What? Rachel, you'll have to slow down and say it again. All those big words made my head hurt trying to figure out what they meant. If you really want me to take you back, then you have to stop using all those big words that no one understand and speak normal for once. Yeah." Finn triumphantly said like he just won the argument.

At the point Quinn decided to make her presence known. At hearing her voice, Rachel got a huge smile on her face, where Finn's went pale and looked terrified while subtly trying to cover the part of his anatomy that was once threatened.

"Let me dumb this down for you Finn so that even your pea sized brain can understand. Rachel is _mine_ not yours. She loves_ me_ not you. You two are never getting back together, so take a hint and leave _now,_" Quinn finished in a growl. She watched as Finn scampered off to Glee and probably lick his wounds.

Quinn embraced Rachel, and felt the tension drain from her body as she slowed down her breathing and inhaled the taller girls scent. Which now at days always was made of cigarette smoke, watermelon jolly ranchers, and something that was just Quinn. She couldn't describe it better than that. She placed loving kisses in Rachel's hair before gently kissing her on the lips.

"You okay baby?" she asked concerned.

Rachel looked into the intense hazel eyes she loved so much and felt somewhat calmer before replying.

"Yeah, just tired of him not getting the hint by now that, I want you and no one else." She replied distractedly.

"Don't worry love. I have a song for him to listen to in glee today, and if he's smart and wise enough. He'll be off our backs for good."

"That's great Quinn! You're finally starting to express your feeling more through song. I must be rubbing off on you." The shorter girl babbled excitedly.

"Mmmhmm, me with music; you with cursing. Don't think I didn't notice that, though I'd like to think we rub of on each other more ways than one." The punk quipped with a smirk.

"Oh hush. Let's go to glee now so you can sing your song. If I like your song enough, maybe there'll be some more rubbing involved later."

With that they sprinted into glee club, eager to finally get Finn off their backs and celebrate it in more ways than one later on at Rachel's. Before Mr. Schue could start his lesson, Quinn was already in front of the room.

"If it's okay, I have a song that I'd like to start off with today Mr. Schue."

"That's great Quinn! Take it away," the curly haired teacher eagerly replied.

"This song if for you Finn, so listen carefully."

Before any one could question what the pink girl just said, the band began to play and Quinn started to sing.

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"I have a heart, I swear I do  
But just not Finny, when it comes to you  
I get so hungry when you say Rachel doesn't love me  
If you know what's good for you

You think you're hot, you think you're cool  
You're the kind of guy, that stalks in school  
But now that Rachel's famous, you're up her anus  
Now I'm going to eat you fool

I eat boys up  
Breakfast and lunch  
Then when I'm thirsty  
I drink their blood

Carnivore animal, I am the Quinnibal  
I eat boys up, You better run

I. am Quinnibal  
(Quinnibal, Quinnibal I am)  
I am Quinnibal  
I'll eat Finn up

Whenever you tell Rachel she's pretty  
That's when the hunger really hits me  
Your little heart goes pitter-patter  
I want your liver on a platter

Use your finger to stir my tea

And for dessert I'll suck your teeth  
Be too dumb and you'll be a goner  
Yep! I'll pull a Jeffrey Dahmer

Carnivore, Animal  
I am the Quinnibal  
I'll eat Finn up  
You better run

I am Quinnibal  
I'll eat you up

I hate you  
I warned you

Rah!"

* * *

With that the song finished and the entire Glee club sat in silence. Between the song, and the death stare that Quinn leveled Finn with, no one knew what to say.

"Huh, I don't really get it Quinn. I mean thanks, but I want Rachel back not you."

Quinn gaped at his denseness and before she could reply Santana broke in.

"What Q-ball hear was saying Finnderella, is that the hobbit is her girl; and if you don't back off. Then Q will go all Norman Bates _Psycho _on your blubber and will never be seen again." Finished a smirking Santana, she thought it was about time Quinn grew some balls and gave him a smack down.

"Yeah Finn. Rachie is with Quinn now, so please stop. I don't want her to hurt you, that'll make me sad." Brittany chirped in.

Before anyone else could weigh in on Quinn's semi disturbing song. Rachel rose from her seat and crossed over to Quinn. She leveled the taller girl with a look of pure hunger that suggested she wanted to devour the pink haired girl, but in a completely different way than what was mentioned in the song.

"That was so hot baby, you defending us up there. We need to go home _now_," was all that Rachel said before dragging the all too willing Quinn in tow.

Finally the tiny light bulb in Finn's head went off and he connected all the dots. Once he understood what Quinn said and looked like she meant it; he paled dramatically and fled the room.

The following day he transferred to the Dalton Academy Warblers and besides Kurt was never heard from by any one ever again.

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**Reviews are appreciated **

**Authors Note: This is an upload of a story that I had on here and accidentally deleted when I was on my phone the yesterday. So if you think you read this before and it seemed familiar, that's because you probably have! I am working on some new things for those who are interested so keep an eye out for that if you want!**


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